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An Honest Call With Your Bank

An Honest Call With Your Bank

– [Recording On Phone] This call may be monitored or recorded
because we’re Big Bank and we can do whatever the fuck we want. – [Woman On Phone] Thank
you for calling Big Bank, your call is not important to us. – Hi, I have a question
that I could easily take care of online. – Great, is this Miss Alison Beardsley? I’m making sure to use your full name so this whole interaction
feels uncomfortable. – This is her. I’m using my business voice because I want to be taken seriously, despite
the fact that it’s 1:15, and I just woke up for the day. – Okay now, Miss Beardsley, do
you know your account number? – No one fucking does. – And you probably won’t give me your social security number because you’re paranoid or some shit. Which makes my job extra hard. – I really hate your bank
and how you reperesnt corporate greed in America. – But you’re too lazy
to find a credit union. – And I think that if I ever change banks, all my money will disappear. – (laughs) We know that. It looks like there’s a
problem with your account. Oh, you’re gonna be angry. – I’m probably gonna yell at you like you personally did this to me. – You sure are! Your account is overdrawn by 178 dollars because of a gym membership you never use. – What the fuck? – There it is! – Can I speak to Can I maybe speak to your manager? – No, but I will put
you on hold for a minute so I can have a break from you. – ♫ Well it looks like you got put on hold ♫ So here’s some random
goddamn eighties song ♫ You got some bad news
and you flipped your shit ♫ So you got put on hold ♫ You got put on hold, baby ♫ Put on hold ♫ Yeah – Here’s what I’ll do. I’ll waive one tiny fee, so it feels like you’ve
accomplished something on this call. – That doesn’t fix my problem at all. – There better not be anything
else I can help you with. – No, and God, you’re not
gonna do that thing where you just recap everything we
did in the last two minutes like I wasn’t even here, are you? – Of, course! It’s my damn job! – I’m not in a hurry, but
I never wanted to make this call in the first
place, so every minute I’m talking to you is terrible. – It doesn’t matter. You won’t hang up because you’ll
feel like a total asshole. – That’s true. – First, you ate leftover Indian food that’s been sitting by
your bed for three days? – I sure did. I do gross shit when I’m alone. – Then I verified your
identity, while you googled ‘Will there ever be a show like
The Bachelor for gay women’. – I just wanna be prepared. – And then you scrolled through Facebook and deleted pictures from high school. – Then I screamed at you because I don’t know how
to manage my own money. – That’s right, and it only took refunding you
12 dollars to calm you down, which is just pathetic. – Thanks for rewarding me being an asshole to a complete stranger. I may never realize how
misplaced my anger is. – That’s what we do. My life is a fucking nightmare. Now, would you like to go paperless? – Yes, please, stop sending me any– – (laughs) It’ll never happen. (click) [Recording On Phone] Thank
you for calling Big Bank. Goodbye. – Hey what’s up, its
Alli from College Humor. Click here to subscribe, Click here to see some more cool stuff. And if you wanna see a
hot babe in the city, click here. I made that. This is what I like.

100 thoughts on “An Honest Call With Your Bank”

  1. Man, my last bank tried to pull that placating refunding shit with me; I didn't fucking take it. Then after refunding the entire overdraw issue (which was their fault) and assuring me nothing needed to be done to prevent it from happening again, it happened 2 more times, lol. After going after them twice more and getting refunded twice more I withdrew my money and switched banks. Stupid motherfuckers.

  2. 'its 1:15 and i just woke up for the day.'

    on her phone in the beginning it says its 11:33


    this video is the work of satan.

  3. i thought ally wasn’t a girl? they use they/them in other videos and on social media as far as i’m aware
    it’s odd to hear them use she/her

  4. I don't think they will be a lesbian version of the bachelor/ette any time soon. the contestants would hook up with each other rather then courting the supposedly awesome bachelorette.

  5. I know my account number. It's on my checks and dispite the fact that I only use my card, I keep one in my wallet so that I can pull it out whenever I need to.

  6. Would you like to go paperless? It'll never happen because we're regulated out the wazoo and have to send you dead trees to cover our own collective ass!"

  7. Best thing to say is “hey I know it’s not your fault, is it okay if you put me on to someone who gets paid more to be yelled at?”

  8. They forgot "I'm going to use your name at least three times even if it sounds stupid and awkward because quality assurance will take off points if I don't" but overall this was very accurate and hilarious.

  9. Ok. Is it bad that I’ve seen this video upwards of 8 times but just now realized the song they played during the one minute break is making fun of the music used in these situations and not actually a sh**ty 80s song?

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