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Apple’s Hack Proof iPhone

Apple’s Hack Proof iPhone


>>ALRIGHT LET’S GET RIGHT
DOWN TO IT. THIS IS THE IPHONE 6, AND IT DOES NOT
COME WITH THE ICLOUD.>>WHEN YOU TOOK PHOTOS
ON THE PREVIOUS IPHONE, THEY WERE AUTOMATICALLY
UPLOADED TO THE CLOUD. THE IDEA WAS THAT YOU COULD
SHARE YOUR LIFE WITH YOUR FRIENDS, AND YOUR FAMILY
OVER THE INTERNET.>>THAT’S GONE, TOTALLY.
>>BAD PEOPLE GOT INTO THE ICLOUD, NOW NOBODY CAN USE IT.
THE NEW IPHONE DOESN’T EVEN COME WITH A CAMERA.
>>AND THERE’S NO
MORE INTERNET.>>IT’S JUST A PHONE NOW.
A PHONE THAT CAN
ONLY CALL YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER, BECAUSE
LET’S FACE IT, THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE YOU
CAN TRUST IN THE WORLD.>>PEOPLE ARE GARBAGE. >>YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO
WHATEVER YOU WANT WITH YOUR PHONE. I MEAN, IF I WANT TO FILM
MYSELF HAVING A 3-WAY WITH MY BRAND NEW ROOMMATE,
AND HER BOYFRIEND JESS, THEN THAT’S SOMETHING I SHOULD
BE ABLE TO DO, AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT
ANYBODY ON THE PLANET BEING ABLE TO SEE IT.
>>BUT THAT’S NOT HOW
THE WORLD WORKS. (she’s cracking up) >>WELL…
>>THANKS A LOT 4CHAN.>>HOW ABOUT A (inaudible)
PHONE THAT ONLY LETS YOU MAKE CALLS TO
UNDERAGE GIRLS?>>4CHAN I GOT AN IDEA
FOR YOU, IT’S THE IPHONE 4CHAN, AND IT’S JUST
PRELOADED WITH TENTACLE PORN, AND PICTURES OF A PREGNANT
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG 69’ING WITH TAILS, WHILE DR. ROBOTNIK
LICKS HIS BALLS, HMM?>>JESUS, I CAN’T–
WHAT’S… (stammers)>>THE NEW IPHONE 6.
IT ONLY CALLS YOUR PARENTS.

48 thoughts on “Apple’s Hack Proof iPhone”

  1. The lighting was absolute garbage. You need a fill light on the right side to soften the harsh shadows..learn cinematography..

  2. This actually makes absolute sense,because calling others and receiving calls is what "PHONES" do,its a freakin' PHONE not a global information center that makes everyone in the world knowing when some random bitch took a selfie while taking a dump..

  3. Since the video wasn't funny, do the people in the video die, so we won't have to suffer through another one of their attempts at humor? Seems kind of harsh?

  4. Just to be clear we blame the website 4chan and not a seldom few of its regular visitors? All the sense that was made. Its falling from the sky

  5. Look at the bright side, if the picture weren't posted on 4Chan then there might still be some other random dudes jerking off to the photo (secretly watching you all, forever).

    If we can't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

  6. WTF, it's not like 4chan caused it, it was just one of the shared sites that got the pics already hacked. Don't blame a whole community on something one person that happens to post on /b/ does.

  7. Ha. The commercial was just a 4 second black page with the message: "This video can't be showed in your region."
    The first time ever, that I read that message as a positive thing

  8. Ok I have this crazy theory…
    Apple invented the Cloud at the request of the government so that when the government need to do something really really naughty and get away with it, like drone strike a guy in some other country, they can get a guy to 'hack' the Cloud and leak things like this. Then once the media falls for the diversion, the government do their naughty business, and no one notices. They announce that they're looking to find this 'hacker' but really they just pay him. Or maybe they could do it themselves. Or maybe I'm crazy.

  9. I think this was all die, and no funny. Does that mean you kill off these characters and they never come back? If you live up to your name, then yea that's what that means.

  10. I think this was all die, and no funny. Does that mean you kill off these characters and they never come back? If you live up to your name, then yea that's what that means.

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