Articles Blog

Family Guy – Peters Cookie Store

Family Guy – Peters Cookie Store

-You know I’ve got all the papers for the loan officer but, I gotta admit I’m a little nervous. -Don’t worry. We’re gonna get this loan no problem and if you get nervous, just do what I always do. Picture your audience naked. -Good afternoon Mr. and Mrs. Griffin. -Aagh. Get that enormous thing out of my face. -I’ll be your loan officer so why don’t you have a seat and tell me about your business? -Our business is cookies now let me ask you a question. You ever heard of money? -Yes. -Good. Good. We’re on the same page. Now sir let me ask you something else. Can you name one successful company that isn’t cookie-based? -Microsoft. -Peter, I’ll handle this. My husband and I would like to open a cookie store. We’ve done all the research and I’m very confident we can turn a profit. I’ve brought some samples if you’d like to try one. -She said one. Take one. -Well these are delicious. Let me just run this by my supervisor. -Yes! -Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, this Bank would like to help you start your business. -Really? That’s fantastic. -And if you have any other questions, you can call me at any time. (phone rings) Hello? -How far away are the stars? -This space will be perfect, Peter. -Yeah. It sure will, Lois. Now all we got to do is name the store. Oh. Oh. I got it. “Peter’s Wife’s Cookies”. -I love it and I love you. -Really? -Yes. You know we did so-so building a family but this business…I think we can really knock it out of the park. -Oh, we sure can, Lois. We’re gonna be a great team like Moses and his buddy who liked to collect seashells. -Yay. – I can’t believe it Peter. Our first day of business. -Alright well we have got work to do so let’s roll up our sleeves and get right to it. There’s a lot to do so we can’t be afraid to just roll up our sleeves and get the job done. We can’t be hands-off managers. We gotta roll up our sleeves and just dig in. -Peter, your arms are turning purple. -Purple with success. -That’s the color of money. You got to do the work of two men and pay yourself for one. Just roll up those sleeves and address the task at hand. Whatever it may be. Not shying away from the dirty work but just rolling up our sleeves and having at it. Success is not given. It is taken. It’s time to get in the game and get dirty. -Alright. I’m going to lunch. -Yes. I’d like a chocolate chip cookie. -Elmer! -What, Mom? You promised I could get a cookie if I finished all my surgery. -Did you? -Yeah. -All of it? -Um… -Get back there. -I’m gonna do it. What does it matter when I do it? -Lois. Lois. Lock the door. -Why? -It’s that lady who comes in, tries a sample and then whispers about how bad she is. -Hey. -Oh my God, you have chocolate macadamia nut. Oh, could I just try a little sample? Oh, I’m so bad. -Uh sure. You gonna buy a cookie this time? -Oh, I better just stick with the sample. I’m so bad, but at least I know I’m bad so that makes me a little less bad, or worse. (whack) -That was the right thing to do, Peter. -Boy. It’s been really slow. I mean if it doesn’t pick up soon, we’re not gonna stay in business very long. -Don’t you worry, Lois. You keep baking. I’ll drum up some business. I just gotta think outside the box like the makers of Dryer’s ice-cream. -Guys, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. When people go to the supermarket, they need something to look at before they choose Haagen Dazs. -I don’t know what to do, you guys. The cookie shop is tanking. If it fails, we’re screwed. My god. What does it take to get people to buy a damn cookie? -Peter Let me tell you something. I spent $600 a month on scented candles at the farmer’s market just because there’s a hot chick selling them. -So what are you saying? You just bragging about candles? That’s a weird thing to brag about. -No. I’m saying sex sells. Trust me. You get a few hotties in that cookie shop of yours. I bet your sales go up. Giggity. -That was an unearned giggity, Quagmire. -I said up. No? -No. -No. -Well, I’ll try anything, Quagmire ’cause I actually like running that cookie shop. It’s way better than that job I had telemarketing to buttholes. -Hello? -Sorry. Wrong number. -Hello? -Sorry. Wrong number. (fart sounds) -And how are you today, Sir? finally someone is talking my language!!!

100 thoughts on “Family Guy – Peters Cookie Store”

  1. β€œIf you have any other questions, you can call me at any time”

    Calls at 2AM to ask how far away the stars are

  2. No matter what peter does it always ends in disaster

    Then they say "well at least it's back together and back to normal!"

  3. πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. loan officer: if you have any questions just call me

    *that night phone rings*


    #how far away are the stars#

  5. 0:57 Cookie Monsters story so far in Family Guy:
    -Cookie Monster is addicted to free basing raw cookie dough.
    -He ends up in rehab, though it might be court ordered.
    -He gets out, now a clean monster, and starts a social media website called "CookieBook".
    -Then sometime after he becomes the supervisor for a successful banking branch.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *