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‘Fox & Friends’ Couldn’t Get Trump Off The Phone

‘Fox & Friends’ Couldn’t Get Trump Off The Phone


FOLKS, WELCOME TO “THE LATE
SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
WELL, THE BIG STORY IS THAT IN HIS RETRIAL TODAY, BILL COSBY
WAS FOUND GUILTY OF SEXUAL ASSAULT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
YEAH. YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW, IN THE “ME
TOO” ERA, IT IS GRATIFYING TO SEE A SEXUAL PREDATOR, HOWEVER
POWERFUL OR POPULAR, FINALLY BROUGHT TO JUSTICE. ( APPLAUSE )
BUT YOU CAN’T FORGET, THERE ARE STILL PLENTY STILL AT LARGE. SPEAKING OF WHICH, DONALD TRUMP
CALLED IN– ( LAUGHTER )
DONALD TRUMP CALLED IN TO “FOX & FRIENDS” TODAY. DID ANYBODY SEE IT? DID ANYBODY SEE THIS? ARE YOU OKAY? ( LAUGHTER )
BECAUSE THE INTERVIEW STARTED STRONG, BUT THEN THE PRESIDENT
STARTED TALKING.>>GOOD MORNING, AND I PICKED A
VERY, VERY SPECIAL DAY BECAUSE IT IS MELANIA’S BIRTHDAY. SO I SAID, “LET’S DO IT ON
MELANIA’S BIRTHDAY.”>>Stephen: HE ALSO TRIED THAT
LINE ON MELANIA– NO GO. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ).>>Jon: OOOH!>>Stephen: IT’S A QUALITY
FAMILY JOKE. THEN, THE “FOX & FRIENDS” ASKED
THE OBVIOUS FOLLOW-UP:>>DO YOU WANT TO TELL US WHAT
YOU GOT HER?>>WELL, I BETTER NOT GET INTO
THAT BECAUSE I MAY GET IN TROUBLE. MAYBE I DIDN’T GET HER SO MUCH. I’LL TELL YOU WHAT, SHE HAS
DONE– I GOT HER A BEAUTIFUL CARD. ( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: YOU’RE A BILLIONAIRE! YOU GOT YOUR WIFE A CARD? DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE PUTS UP
WITH? I THINK SHE’S EARNED A SHOPPING
SPREE. I’M GOING TO SAY, ABOUT A
$130,000 WORTH.>>Jon: OOOH!>>Stephen: THAT SEEMS FAIR.>>Jon: OOOH! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM.>>Stephen: ACTUALLY, WE HAVE
ACQUIRED A COPY OF THE CARD HE GAVE HER. “MERRY BIRTHDAY.” THERE’S A GAMESTOP GIFTCARD. THERE YOU GO. ( APPLAUSE )
HAD ONE LAYING AROUND. THEN– OKAY, THEN THE PRESIDENT
AND THE “FOX & FRIENDS,” THEY GOT DOWN TO BUSINESS, AND TALKED
ABOUT BUSINESS.>>MICHAEL IS UH… IN BUSINESS,
HE’S REALLY A BUSINESSMAN, A FAIRLY BIG BUSINESS, AS I
UNDERSTAND IT. I DON’T KNOW HIS BUSINESS. MICHAEL IS A BUSINESSMAN. HE’S GOT A BUSINESS. PROBABLY THE BIG THING IS HIS
BUSINESS, AND THEY’RE LOOKING AT SOMETHING TO DO WITH HIS
BUSINESS. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS
BUSINESS.>>Stephen: “YES, MICHAEL IS IN
THE BUSINESS OF BUSINESS AS A BUSINESSMAN, HIS BUSINESS
IS BEING IN BUSINESS, AND IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SO WHO AM I TO GET ALL UP IN HIS BIZ-NAS? AND WHEN IT COMES TO RUSSIA, HE
NEVER COLLUDED.>>SO THE SPECIAL COUNSEL– AND,
BY THE WAY, AND INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE AND EVERYBODY ELSE–
HAS FOUND NO COLLUSION. THERE IS NO COLLUSION WITH ME
AND THE RUSSIANS. NOBODY’S BEEN TOUGHER TO RUSSIA
THAN I AM. YOU CAN ASK PRESIDENT PUTIN
ABOUT THAT.>>Stephen: GREAT ARGUMENT. ( LAUGHTER )
“I DIDN’T ROB THAT BANK! JUST ASK MY GETAWAY DRIVER!”
( LAUGHTER ) BUT TRUMP DOES KNOW ONE THING:
HE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING.>>I’M NOT INVOLVED, AND I’M
NOT– AND I’VE BEEN TOLD I’M NOT INVOLVED!>>Stephen: “THE NICE MAN IN THE
MIRROR TOLD ME I NEVER COLLUDED AND THAT I AM A VERY STRONG AND
GOOD BOY. AND THEN HE GOT KIND OF HANDSY.” TRUMP LEFT THE DOOR OPEN T
( LAUGHTER ) FIRING ROBERT MUELLER.>>AND YOU LOOK AT THE
CORRUPTION AT THE TOP OF THE F.B.I., IT’S A DISGRACE. AND OUR JUSTICE DEPARTMENT–
WHICH I TRY AND STAY AWAY FROM, BUT AT SOME POINT I WON’T.>>Stephen: OH, THAT’S
REASSURING. “THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING. I HAVE AN EXTREMELY STRESSFUL
JOB AND A BOTTLE OF JACK DANIEL’S, WHICH I WILL TRY TO
STAY AWAY FROM, BUT AT SOME POINT, I WON’T.” ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) THE FOXIES–
( CHEERS ) HE KEPT COMPLAINING ABOUT NBC
AND CNN BUT EXPLAINED THAT HE DOESN’T WATCH THE THING HE
SPENDS EVERY WAKING MOMENT COMPLAINING ABOUT.>>I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR TWO
REASONS– THERE’S TOO MUCH AND I DON’T HAVE TIME.>>Stephen: THAT’S BARELY ONE
REASON. HONEY, I DIDN’T TAKE THE TRASH
OUT FOR TWO REASONS. IT’S GROSS AND I DIDN’T TAKE THE
TRASH OUT. AND WHEN ASKED TO GIVE HIMSELF A
LETTER GRADE, TRUMP SHOWED HIS TRADEMARK HUMILITY.>>I WOULD GIVE MYSELF AN
A-PLUS. NOBODY HAS DONE WHAT I HAVE BEEN
ABLE TO DO, AND I DID IT DESPITE THE FACT THAT I HAVE A PHONY
CLOUD OVER MY HEAD THAT DOESN’T EXIST.>>Stephen: SIR, THAT’S NOT A
PHONY CLOUD. THAT’S YOUR HAIR. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DOESN’T– ALLEGEDLY. EXACTLY. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. BUT THIS INTERVIEW WAS INSANE. IT WAS RAMBLING. IT WAS SO LOUD. IT SOUNDED LIKE HE WAS SHOUTING
THE WHOLE TIME. I JUST HAD THE IMAGE OF AN
UNBATHED DONALD TRUMP SHAMBLING AROUND IN HIS BATHROBE, NEITHER
FOX NOR FRIEND COULD GET A WORD IN EDGEWISE.>>I WOULD RATHER HAVE THE
POPULAR VOTE BECAUSE IT’S– TO ME, IT’S MUCH EASIER TO–
>>IT’S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SET OF GOALS AS OPPOSED TO ELECTORAL
COLLEGE.>>BUT WE HAVE ELECTORAL
COLLEGE.>>RIGHT–
>>I GOT 306. SHE GOT WHAT, 223?>>RIGHT–
>>THERE WAS NO WAY TO BREAK 270. I HEARD THAT.>>Stephen: “COMEY IS A LIAR,
MUELLER IS CORRUPT, CROOKED HILLARY DELETES EMAILS, AND I’LL
TAKE A LARGE PERSONAL PAN MEAT LOVER’S PIZZA AND AN ORDER
OF GARLIC KNOTS WITH CRAZY SAUCE– WAIT, WHO AM I TALKING
TO? I FORGOT.” ( LAUGHTER )
“HELLO? IS THIS…” AND THE WHOLE TIME,
THE WHOLE TIME THIS IS GOING ON, THE CURVY COUCH LINGS JUST SAT
THERE STUNNED. JUST MOUTHS SLACKED,
GLASSY-EYED, WONDER WHAT TO DO. AND WE AT “THE LATE SHOW” HAVE
OBTAINED EXCLUSIVE RECORDINGS OF THE “FOX & FRIENDS'” INNER
MONOLOGUES WHILE THEY LISTENED TO TRUMP UNRAVEL.>>IT’S AN ABSOLUTE DISGRACE. AND BY THE WAY, THE ONLY
COLLUSION IS THE COLLUSION WITH THE DEMOCRATS AND THE RUSSIANS. YOU TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT’S GOING
ON THERE.>>WOW. THIS GUY’S OFF THE RAILS. THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR
DEMOCRACY.>>BEHOLD THE SCOURGE WE HAVE
UNLEASHED. WE ARE ALL COMPLICIT IN THE EVIL
WE HAVE WROUGHT. ♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ ♪ DOO DOO DOO
DOO DOO DOO DOO ♪ AND AFTER– IT’S GOT A HOOK. AND AFTERNOON 30 MINUTES– HOW
LONG– 30 MINUTES OF THIS, THE HOSTS GENTLY REMINDED THE
PRESIDENT THAT HE HAZE JOB.>>WE COULD TALK TO YOU ALL DAY,
BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A MILLION THINGS TO DO. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>>Stephen: REQUESTED WE’D
LOVE TO TALK, BUT I KNOW YOU’RE BUSY. HE GOT THE PRESIDENT OFF THE
PHONE LIKE AN ANNOYING RELATIVE. “OKAY, WELL, LISTEN, I’M GOING
TO LET YOU GO. OKAY, YUP, OKAY. YEAH GOTTA– THEY’RE CALLING ME. DINNER’S GETTING COLD. YUP, TALK SOON. HAPPY THANKSGIVING GRANDPA. NO, NOPE, THEY’RE NOT ALL
THIEVES! REMEMBER, NANNA FOUND HER RING. OKAY, BYE.” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HE’S A GOOD GUY.>>Jon: YEAH.>>Stephen: HE’S A GOOD GUY. BUT AFTER TRUMP GOT OFF THE
PHONE, STEVE DOOCY THOUGHT IT WENT PRETTY WELL.>>I THINK HE WAS AWAKE AND HE
HAD A LOT TO SAY. ( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: WHAT A RAVE
REVIEW! “HE WAS CONSCIOUS AND, BOY,
MAKING SOUND WITH THE OLD FACEHOLE.” ( LAUGHTER )
BUT IN THEIR DEFENSE, THEY HAD TO RUSH THE LEADER OF THE FREE
WORLD OFF THE PHONE TO GET TO THEIR ACTUAL NEXT NEWS SEGMENT:
“BUCK’S FAMOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS!” ( LAUGHTER )
THE SECRET INGREDIENT IS CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

100 thoughts on “‘Fox & Friends’ Couldn’t Get Trump Off The Phone”

  1. That's funny!!! It's basically the equivalent being played off of the Oscars or Grammys! With a cue the music in the hopes you'll shut the f**** up! But no Fox doesn't care, and if he ask them to order a pizza, they'd do and pay for it

  2. The way trump behaved with Putin, I half expected Trump to get down on his knees and start sucking something over at Putin’s podium. Trump actually looked and acted like a love sick teenager in there with Putin, what an embarrassment.

  3. If I was the reporter I would put him on blast and say ( what you did you say ? All I heard was business and play it back for him and see what other stupid shit he said!

  4. I would be totally embarrassed to admit that all I got my wife was a beautiful card even though I'm a billionaire. Surely he could of thought of something better than that to give her.

  5. LMAO, @ the Captain/Pilot Analogy!!!! & Omg LOL! @ "Sir, THAT'S not a phony cloud….That's your hair!" #Brilliant

  6. America you guys deserve much more better person than Trump… No matter what America will grow becoz of some hardworking People and those who did not voted him.. But definetly Trump will damage your level of Political awareness around the world…

  7. Everything is" a Disgrace "with Donald,except its 22 august 2018 now,and Manafort has pleaded guilty,and has refused a pardon,from Trump.Go figure.

  8. Trump: Michael is in business, he's really a businessman and fairly big business as I understand it, I don't know his business. Michael is a businessman, he's got a business, probably the big thing is his business and they're looking at something having to do with his business, I have nothing to do with his business.

    Stephen: Yes Michael is in business, he is in the business of business as a businessman. His business is being in business and it's none of my business, so who am I to be all up in his biniz, bizzsz, business.

  9. The Deep state is Isreal and the Jewish Mafia they control the media fake news, federal reserve, CIA there responsible for 911, JFK
    and the list goes on. This show like many others is fake propaganda brainwashing hiding the truth from Americans dont believe!
    do some research and you will find who controls the world.

  10. So Your President rambles on for 30 minuets on FOX on live TV you do know how to hang UP right ? that’s what they would have done on CNN or any other NEWS NETWORK in the US. To think this Moron has your Trust ? God HELP you and the rest of us on the World

  11. I think Colbert made this less funny than when I watched the tape all the way through. Those Fox people keep trying to get him to stop talking about himself and he just won't do it. It's comedy gold all by itself no narration needed

  12. trump is only pretending to be a billionaire. He has More debt than money. That's why he doesn't want any one to see his tax returns.

  13. Taylor Swift shoutout. From Josue. Shoutout to Calvin, the man, too. From Josue. Not the man. Shame on you two. I had to say it.

  14. Come on doesn't Trump know how a rich guy who cheats should behave. He have to buy her expensive jewellery of precious metals and with diamonds or the like. Stick to tradition

  15. Legally he should be committed for not even bothering to get his cow of a wife a damn birthday gift, but also be committed for his shenanigans and bull crap.

  16. Plot twist: aliens put retardedness in Donald trump's food to secure earth's destruction.

    🙏🏼hoping for a Hollywood movie for this one😆

  17. Fox and Friends. SMFH. The two men and woman, their facial expressions. WTH was that…?

    ? …

    ??

    (looking at my phone) I'm flying out of the country in 28 hours. United Airlines, can I change my flight to UA455, which departs at 6 30 in 3 hours and 15 minutes??

  18. Trump in this phone call is like meeting up with a friend you have not seen in a long time and they have WAY TOO MUCH to bitch about

  19. To people who voted for this stain on American history, I hope you are happy. You have ruined this country for generations to come.

  20. jon batiste's face always looks fried… maybe he smokes everyday… or maybe he sniffs cokaine… hahahhahaaahhahaaaaaaaaaaaa

  21. I think they deleted that interview. Weird they took it down to hide how mentally unstable their President is.

  22. ______Colbert makes more money than any other douche bag acting like a douche bag. He makes a very good douche bag….gotta admit.

  23. At first,I had high Hope's for Colbert, then I realized that he,Colbert, is subservient to the Jew,that owns and runs,Show"Business",or, "SHOA" business, Seth,Jimmyand all the other layers night host are owned and controlled by Jew ownership of the networks,and are safe,along as they don't go against the PARTY LINE"THE PROTOCOLS OF THE LEARNED ELDERS OF ZION",

  24. Trump doesn’t have money. Putin gives him loans. Now he’s pissed. Which is why he’s president to disrupt our country. There has been corruption including the Republican Party.

  25. Him talking about business reminds me of the unicorn cat thing from the first LEGO movie talking about business XD

  26. You think Micheal is a business man ? Hahah
    …takes a sip of soda after how many time he says the word business
    Why is he yelling,hahah

  27. And there are still people who tell us he's the biggest and makes America big again. The next president has a lot to do to clean up the garbage he's leaving behind.

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