I don’t mind the government spying on me.
I’ve got nothing to hide. Well, if it keeps America safer, I’ll he happy
to give up my rights. You trust the government. So why not help
them monitor you with the new NSA iPhone? It comes pre-loaded with apps from the
NSA’s trusted partners: Apple, Google, Microsoft and Facebook. Apps like “Look At My Bank Account”,
“Here’s My Medical Records, Y’All” and “My Deeply Private Shit For The NSA To
Check Out”. No hard to decipher “meta-data” here
slowing the NSA’s hunt for terrorists. With the NSA iPhone your every call is
instantly listened to by a government agent. …and I was all like, no way, I’d never
wear those shoes. Ew. Well, gotta go. Bye Courtney! Bye NSA agent! Um…bye. By the way, how are you? Uh. Good. How’s your family? Never mind,
I already know. Yes, you do.
It feels good to fight terrorism. The NSA iPhone’s camera runs 24 hours a
day so agents can watch you at all times. If you accidentally place it where the
camera can’t see you, don’t worry: the NSA iPhone can move on it’s own! Oh! Hey, NSA! Keeping America safe by,
um, looking at my soapy genitalia? Our NSA iPhone is like a part of
family! The NSA iPhone. Coming soon!