Before we get started,
I don’t want to alarm you, but I do have to talk
about something serious. Before we get started,
I need to tell you I think I’m being stalked.
No, for real. I was just talking to my friend about this concert
I wanted to go to, and then later on,
an ad popped up on my cellphone for the same concert. Boom.
Right there in front of me. “Magic Mike” live in concert.
I was like, “How…” Has this ever happened to you?
-Yes -I always thought I’d be famous,
and my stalker would be, like, a hot guy that just
needed some guidance, okay? But instead my phone
is spying on me! At first, I was
a little freaked out. Okay? But if I’m being honest,
it just kind of nice to know at least someone’s
listening to me, you know? I mean, of course, I know the FBI is always
listening, obviously. That’s why I cover my webcam
while watching porn with tape. Just like this guy does.
You know what I’m talking about. Dude, come on. You know. And she’s awkwardly laughing.
This is like… You regret coming here,
don’t you? We’re just getting started! But the thing with the FBI is they might never
actually reach out, you know? They’re not sending me messages
like, “Yo, it’s the FBI. Heard you say
you need a vacation. Here’s a dope resort
in Bora Bora.” I go back and forth
on artificial intelligence. Now, I’m not sure
if that’s good or bad. It’s like taking shots. The next
day, you realize it’s a mistake. But on the night of,
you’re like, “I’m going to live forever!” [ Laughs ]
For now, I think AI is useful. I think that’s what
I’ve decided. There’s no reason
to complain about it. You know?
It’s what we signed up for. And let’s be real.
It makes life easier. Sure, it’s taking all
of our information, okay? But Amazon’s AI recently
recommended some bedsheets that I would have
never found otherwise, okay? I mean, someone in Russia might
be using my credit-card number to buy Bitcoin, but… Those sheets
are 700 thread count, and I’m sleeping
like a baby out here! And without AI,
we wouldn’t have spellcheck. Can you imagine what our text
conversations would look like? It would be a ducking nightmare! [ Laughter ] [ Cheers and applause ] I mean, on the flipside, there are a lot people
worried about AI taking over, but I think we’re
a long way from that. AI ain’t that smart. I can’t even get Siri to play
the music I want to listen to. She’s like,
“Did you say you want to listen to music by Silly Eyelash?” Like, damn, I know Cardi B
goes a little overboard with the false lashes,
but no need to roast her. AI can be really useful, but I do understand there is
a dark side to AI, as well. Whether we like it or not,
Siri and Alexa are here to stay. It’s a global phenomenon. Like, did you know
that Saudi Arabia gave a robot named Sophia
citizenship? Yeah. Looks like in Saudi Arabia you can have more rights
as a robot than a woman. [ Audience ohhs ] Although, what’s up with
the ultra-white name Sophia in Saudi Arabia? There’s like a weird
Stockholm Syndrome. Like, I get it.
Okay, in Saudi Arabia, ain’t no one praising
a robot named Miriam. You know what I’m saying? But Sophia can only talk, sing,
and make facial expressions. I guess you could say for a robot she’s basic as F,
you know? It’s only a matter of time
before she’s rocking Uggs in the summer while posing
with the puppy filter. Hashtag Blessed.
Or should I say… [Robotic voice]
Hashtag Blessed. [ Laughter ] The other thing that is
a valid concern for AI is it’s taking over
peoples’ jobs. From self-checkout
at grocery stores to automated phone operators,
artificial intelligence is putting people out of work. And with sex robots becoming
more and more mainstream, not only is AI replacing
the 9-to-5 jobs, but they’re also taking over
[bleep] jobs. I mean, I guess the plus side is that less men
will have carpal tunnel. [ Laughter ] If there’s one job that
I’m okay with AI taking over, straight-up,
it’s the police force. I mean, give me
someone like RoboCop. Wait. Hear me out, hear me out.
Sure, he’s still white. But at least he has
a built-in bodycam. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Laughs ] [ Cheers and applause ] Oh, they’re like,
“Oh, this is what it’s like to have a colored host.” What’s crazy is that some AI are taking your jobs away before
you can even get an interview. There are recruitment systems
out there powered by AI that discriminate against
female job applicants. Mm. So only men
are getting these jobs. Which explains why Alexa
keeps calling me “ponytail” and asking me
what that booty do. So I guess there’s a lot of pros
and cons when it comes to AI. And like I said, I’m personally
okay with aspects of it, but I can see where the future
of AI can seem a little scary. I mean, is AI good? Is it bad? You know, maybe there’s AI that
can answer this question for us. Oh, here. [ Clears throat ]
Hey, Siri. Are AI planning to take over? -Okay. Now playing music
by Billie Eilish. -So now you understand me.