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PORRADA

PORRADA


Raphael! Raphael! What’s going on here? Come down here,
you son of a bitch! -Why for?
-I’m beat you up! Well, hold on. You want me to go down there
to get beat up? Yeah! That’s exactly right! So of course I won’t go.
Are you nuts, Julius? Look at your guns!
Your punch would destroy my face! So you shouldn’t have
covet your neighbour’s wife. Be a man and come here! What do you mean? I’m a man. My name is Raphael,
I see myself as a man. Everyone here
knows I’m a man. Now, going downstairs so you
can beat me up and make me bloody is not something a man would do
but an idiot! Right? Are you afraid? Are you afraid, you coward? I am afraid
but your premise is flawed. -You want to hit me, right?
-Right! To that purpose,
I have to go there, right? -Right.
-So, I’m not going. If you have made me curious,
it’d be totally different, Julius. If you said
you needed to talk to me, saying you had something
to tell me, you’d get me
because I’m so curious. You’d have me by now. You could’ve said Mrs. Alzira
is selling 3 pop sticks for $ 5. She has milky guava. Dude, I’d be
right by your side. Now, you come here saying
you’ll beat me up? Are you crazy? I’m skinny as hell!
No cushion here! Get going
or I’ll call the cops on you! My premise is better than yours.
Now you’re afraid. I’ll only leave
after we settle our score. Do you hear me? Settle?
It’s settled, Julius. It’s settled. I made out with your ex. You are pissed off,
deservedly so. You’re pissed off right now. You’re even biting your lips.
You do that when you’re pissed. See? Now, am I sorry? I am. I didn’t want you
to make a scene here for everyone to see. -Are you coming here?
-No. I’ll jump this fence,
get inside your house and beat you up in there! No, you won’t.
The door is locked. The lock is huge! Ok then. I’ll wait for you
to get out and then I’ll smash your face
on the cement. I’ll make a fool of you
in front of everyone here! You’re making
the same mistake again, bro! Come on, Julius! I grew up
in bad neighborhoods. If you tell me that,
do you think I’ll ever go there? I’m not stupid!
I’ve been beaten up enough times! Now, I’ll just leave here
by Uber. And I won’t have to leave
anytime soon! I just changed the carpet.
It’s so fluffy! The A/C is blasting! I can have food delivered… I just started
season 1 of “Game of Thrones”, meaning I’ll binge-watch it! I’m gonna tell you something
because I like you. Be careful.
This street is getting violent. There’s a weird guy
walking by. They could kidnap you
and abuse you. You’re a handsome dude,
you don’t have to go through that. -So, you’re not coming here.
-No, I’m not. I’m not going, bro. -Are you being a sissy?
-I am a sissy, Julius. I’ve gotta go. Peace out! Rapha… Come here, man! I need to talk to you! -Spill it.
-You won’t believe it! I went to the store
to buy an iPhone X. It was on sale,
so I got one for you too. -Do you want it?
-No, you did not. It’s here, man. -Do you have two there?
-Two. One for each. -I can’t believe, man!
-I’m telling you! You’re kidding me… You’re not man enough
to tell the truth, Julius! You said there was an iPhone here
but it’s just an empty plastic bag. Mother fucker! You are a cheated-on liar,
Julius! He said he
was giving me an iPhone. And I fell for it! Fuck, it hurts so much! You’re getting big, Julius! What an asshole liar! How I am going to watch
“Game of Thrones” with one eye? My carpet
will get all bloody.

73 thoughts on “PORRADA”

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  2. O portão tá fechado, porra dum cadeado grossão. Daí em 3:07 mostra que o muro é baixinho, da pra pular tranquilo

  3. E outra coisa mete o pé se não vou chamar a policia, olha ai meh argumento melhor que o teu ficou com medo KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK esse Rafael é uma figura irmão

  4. São poucos os que fazem isso, é só falar "vem aqui se tu for homem" que o machão ja vai todo todo "provar a sexualidade", frescura na bunda!

  5. Eu não me canso de assistir e rir….kkkkkk Esse é o melhor vídeo do Portas, adoroooooo, Rafael Portugal é o melhooorrrrrr

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