Rosalina: So Mario what do you wanna watch on tv? Mario: I don’t know, we’ll find something to watch. *presses TV remote* Hey daddy, i’m ready to watch me some spongebob. and you better not say no!>:C Cause if you do, i’m gonna flip sh*t! (Woah! calm down i think your helmets on too tight XD) Mario: Jeffy, well, uh, we’re not going to watch SpongeBob today, me and Rosalina are going to watch TV already. Jeffy: You better not F****NG do this to me daddy! I already got my Squidward glasses on! Jeffy, that’s not Squidward, that’s Patrick. WHO THE F***’S THAT? Mario: Jeffy calm down! You know what? You’re not watching TV! Go to bed! [Jeffy enters his 2nd stage.] Mario: Jeffy?! NO! NO DADDY! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! AHHHHH!!!! Mario: Stop it Jeffy! F*** YOU F*** YOU F*** YOU F*** YOU F*** YOU F*** YOU Mario: ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! YOU CAN WATCH SPONGEBOB! Jeffy: GREAT! *Remote abuse* *Spongebob laughter* (bad patrick impression) Patrick: Hey Spongebob! Spongebob: Oh Hey Patrick! Patrick: I’m sad! Even though my face doesn’t depict it! Spongebob: Oh, well, why are you sad Patrick? Patrick: ‘Cause I CAN’T GET A GIRLFRIEND Spongebob: Well I don’t have holes for nothin’! BAAA*Laughter* Jeffy: Squidward’s my favorite. Mario: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Every time Jeffy want something I tell him no… and then he throws a temper tantrum and gets it anyway! Rosalina: Mario, I don’t think he can help it! Mario: Oh he can help it, he does it on purpose! Rosalina: Mario, maybe he needs to get on medicine. Mario: What? Medicine? Like what? Like- like Rat poison? Rosalina: *gasp* Mario! I think we need to call a doctor and get him some help! Mario: There’s no point in doing that because he does it on purpose. Medicine is not going to help him. Jeffy: COMMERCIAL BREAK! [Jeffy enters his third stage.] *sighs* Mario: Okay, I’ll call a doctor. I’ll call a doctor. Doctor: Alright, where’s the spaz? Mario: Thank you Doctor for coming! Doctor: Heh, if I had a nickel every time I heard that, I wouldn’t be getting sued. Mario: Well look. The reason I called you was because my son has been screaming, yelling, throwing stuff, and cussing us out. Jeffy: Squid Fuck! Doctor: Heh, sounds like a typical 13-year-old to me. (AM I RIGHT MOM AND DAD??!!!?!) Mario: Well Look, We don’t want Jeffy acting like this anymore so we want to get him on medicine to calm him down. Doctor: Oh I get it. You don’t want to be a parent anymore so you want to let the medicine do the parenting for you. Mario: Uh, Yes. Doctor: Okay. Well, I’m hip. Doctor: Alright, Luckily I already brought this medicine here. Mario: Oh, what does that do? Doctor: Oh If he takes one every 3 hours it should calm him down. Mario: What? Really? It’ll fix him? Doctor: Yeah! Rosalina: Are there any bad side effects? Doctor: Um, well the side effects of this medicine is that it might make him really angry.>:C Mario: Well, we don’t want him to act angry, he already acts angry all the time. He already screams and yells. Doctor: Well, it’s just a side effect, it might not actually happen, but if he does get angry like that just call me and we’ll switch out a different medicine for him okay? Mario: Well, i guess it is worth a try. I guess we’ll try it doctor. Thank you so much. Mario: Well, alright let’s try this. Mario: Alright Jeffy swallow it. Jeffy: *Gulps* *ahhhhhhhhhh* Mario: Did you swallow it?
Jeffy:UHHUH Mario: Alright Jeffy so this medicine is supposed to make you feel better so go play toys. Jeffy: Okay Daddy. Mario: *sigh* Do you really think this medicine is gonna work? Rosalina: I think so, Mario, the doctor seemed to know what he was talking about. Mario: I guess all we can do now is just wait. *sigh* [We now see the wild Jeffy in it’s natural habitat.] MMMMMMM Jeffy: I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING WRONG!>:( MINE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THIS, STUPID LEGOS!!! UH! UH! UH! UH! [Jeffy enters his fourth stage] Junior: Uh, Jeffy, are you OK? Mind your own fuckhole! Rosalina: Mario, We haven’t heard from Jeffy in a while. Do you think he’s okay? Mario: I’m pretty sure he’s fine he probably just fell asleep after he took his medicine. Jeffy: DADDY! WHY IS THIS COUCH SO FUCKING RED?! AND WHY ARE YOU SITTING ON THE DAMN THING ALL THE TIME? AND YOU! WHY DO YOU ONLY HAVE ONE FUCKING EYEBALL?! HOW DO YOU SEE?! AND YOU! WHY ARE WEARING GLOVES?! Mario: JEFFY, DON’T YELL AT ME LIKE THAT! Rosalina: Mario, it’s a side effect of the medicine! AND THAT THERE CEILING FAN’S NEVER ON AND IT’S HOT AS SHIT IN HERE! AND MY SHOE’S UNTIED! DID YOU DO THIS? Mario: Jeffy, why would I untie your shoe? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! IF YOU WANT MY SHOE’ SO GODDAMN BAD YOU CAN FUCKING HAVE IT! Mario: Ugh! Jeffy, Don’t Throw things! WHO GIVES A SHIT IF I THROW THINGS! Mario: Oh you know what, I’m calling the doctor to change his medicine. *Mario runs away panting* AND WHY THE FUCK DON’T I HAVE FINGERNAILS?! Doctor: Hey, you called? Mario: Oh thank God, you’re here doctor, he has been yelling and screaming and cussing us out. WHO THE FUCKS THIS GUY? HE’S NOT A DOCTOR! HIS STETHOSCOPE’S NOT EVEN REAL! It’s sewed to his shirt! Doctor: He’s right! I’M A FRAUD! *Crying* Mario: So you’re saying you can’t help us? Doctor: *sigh* No… no I can, I brought this medicine along just in case, this should help. Rosalina: What are the side effects of this one? doctor: uh.. it might make him depressed. Mario: Well depressed is better than angry, I’m going to give this to him and let you know how it works. Mario: Alright Jeffy you going to take this……alright Jeffy take this and swallow it. *Jeffy making a very loud and obvious gulp* Mario: Alright did you swallow it? Jeffy: Fuck you.>:C Mario: Alright, hopefully that medicine will fix him cause we don’t want him acting like that. Rosalina: Yeah, Mario. *Mario sighs* Rosalina: Mario I’m worried about Jeffy we haven’t heard from him in a while and you know what happened last time. Mario: Look I wouldn’t worry about it the worst that could happen is he becomes depressed but that’s not going to happen. Jeffy: Hey daddy… Rosalina: *gasps* Jeffy, you look awful! Jeffy: Same to you mommy. Rosalina: Mario, something’s wrong, I think he’s depressed! Mario: He’s not depressed, he might just be a little tired.. uh, Jeffy tell mommy that you’re not depressed. Jeffy: I want to die. *pretends to shoot himself* pshoo… Rosalina: Mario we need to call the doctor! (I can’t even watch!) Mario: No, we don’t need to call the doctor look I prefer this Jeffy, this Jeffy’s not screaming and cussing us out, he might just be tired or something, hey Jeffy prove you the same old Jeffy smack your diaper and make the ugh noise. *Jeffy sad sighs* :C *sad music* *Smacks diaper and makes the ugh noise twice* Mario: See classic Jeffy. Rosalina: Mario that’s not classic Jeffy somthing is wrong! Mario: Okay, get his cat piano, I bet he can play a song, okay Jeffy, um play a song for mommy. Rosalina: Here Jeffy. Mario: Yeah, play a song. Mario: Oh yea….yea that’s classic Jeffy. Rosalina: Mario, call the doctor right now! Mario: Okay, fine I’ll call the doctor. Doctor: Alright, I’m going to start charging you people gas money cause I’m coming over here so much. Mario: Well, the reason I called you doctor is my wife doesn’t want me to be happy anymore Rosalina: Mario! Mario: Because Jeffy is too quiet. Rosalina: Because he’s depressed. Doctor: Oh yeah I was afraid of that…. that’s okay that’s why I brought the strong shit. Mario: Oh well what are the side effects of this medication? Docter: Cunnilingus. Mario: Wait what? Doctor: Oh, I’m sorry, hallucinations I was thinking of something else. Rosalina: Hallucinations, that sounds bad. Mario: Yeah Doctor: It’s not as good. Mario: Well, what type of hallucinations? Doctor: Oh, I don’t know it could be anything, he could think he’s a dragon, he could think he’s a lion, he could think that he’s eating a rug. look I don’t know but listen these are just side effects, it might not even happen. Mario: Well, that’s what you said about the last 2 medicines and the side effects happened. Doctor: Well, let’s just hope we get lucky this time. Mario: *sigh* Let’s just give him this medicine. Mario: Alright, Jeffy swallow your medicine. *Jeffy swallows lightly* Mario: Did you swallow it? *Jeffy nods* Mario: Alright, Jeffy go to your room and you might feel better later. Rosalina: Mario, I’m going to go check on Jeffy I’m worried that he’s gonna have a bad side effect to the medicine again. Mario: I guess you’re right, I’ll go with you to check. Rosalina: Ok, Jeffy are you okay? Mario: Yeah, Jeffy, are you okay? AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH Lion Mario: Uh, Jeffy are you okay? Camel Rosalina: Yeah Jeffy are you alright? Jeffy: AHHHHHH! You stay away from me Mr. Hippo and Mr. Whale! Mario: Hippo? Rosalina: A whale? Mario: He must be hallucinating let’s go after him. Rosalina: ok AHHHHHH!!!!! Mario: Jeffy, calm down we’re not animals. Jeffy: You stay away from me talking hippo. What did you do with my mommy and daddy? Lion Mario: Why does he keep calling us that? Camel Rosalina: I don’t know Mario i think we need to call the doctor Mario: Ok we will call the doctor. Brooklyn T. Chicken: Alright, this is the last time I’m coming over here. Mario: Alright, Jeffy, the doctor’s here. Jeffy: A TALKING PENGUIN! Doctor: Did- Did he just call me a penguin?
(yes, yes he did.) Mario: Yeah he thinks we’re animals. Doctor: Oh… oh yeah that’s got to be the hallucinations. Mario: Well, how do you stop them? Doctor: Um, well.. I’m going to be totally honest here, he shouldn’t be having any of the side effects. Mario: What are you talking about? Doctor: See, the medicine that I’ve been giving him… It’s just Tic Tacs. wtf Mario and Rosalina: What, Tic Tacs? Doctor: Yeah, look. *spills the Tic Tacs* It’s just Tutti Frutti Tic Tacs. I like the orange ones.(me too brotha) Mario: Why would you give him Tic Tacs instead of real medicine? Doctor: Well, I wanted to try out the placebo effect before I gave him real medicine, you know. So, I guess the side effects he’s been having is just…him being allergic to Tic Tacs. [Jeffy you son of a-] Jeffy Y U do dat